5 THINGS I LOST AND 5 I GAINED WHEN I RETIRED

 

When should one retire? This is one question that is truly difficult to answer. And that is because there are major losses, and they are easy to identify. However, as I look at my life now, I realize that all those losses were nothing compared to what I gained when I finally did.  

5 THINGS I LOST

In 2004, I retired early and migrated from the Philippines to the US. I was then CEO of BayanTrade, an e-procurement solutions provider and lost many things to which I had been accustomed. They had provided me with a comfortable life. Here are five of them.

Money, Money, Money

First, I lost my income, huge even in pesos. Given the low cost of living in the Philippines, it was so much more than what I needed because my children were already working at the time and no longer needed support. Except that we all lived in the same house.  

I had so much discretionary income and it was pure manna from heaven! At only 54, I could expect ten more years of the same by continuing to work. That decade would have guaranteed a golden retirement.

But I said goodbye to the black Volvo sedan, together with allowances for fuel and a full-time driver. I gave up all the paid-for trips, domestic and international, that came with the job. And what about all those free lunches and dinners at business meetings?

Money-wise, I surely lost a lot!

Status and More Status

Secondly, I lost the status associated with my position. Having been lucky enough to break the glass ceiling, I had earned the right to sit in organizations like the Management Association of the Philippines, the country’s prestigious club of CEOs. I was even invited to sit as a pro bono en banc consultant to the Commission on Elections while they were automating the country’s electoral processes. I loved it when I was doing important work for the country and the Filipino people.

A Way of Being Useful

Getting off the career train (a risk even if for just a short break) would make me lose my credentials built through many years. The information technology industry is a fast-paced one, and I would immediately lose my brand of being able to launch innovations in the country, like the banking ATM network MegaLink and the automation of the Bureau of Internal Revenue.

My Community and My Country

And because I moved to the US, I lost the comforts of living in my own home, community, and country. This was a big loss, bigger than the previous three. I was born in the Philippines, was raised, and flourished there. It was good that the US has a dual citizenship program or I probably would not have recovered from the utter sense of betrayal I felt at the beginning.

The Company of Loved Ones

And my best friends (elementary school, high school, and college mates) and colleagues in the industry are still there. And, though I had lost my parents earlier, I still have two sisters there, all my aunts and uncles, cousins, and nieces and nephews. It is good that technology somehow bridges the gap. I was able to visit every two years in the beginning, but now that I do not enjoy long-haul flights anymore, I haven’t been able to visit for the past five years. Let me tell you: the ache and longing have only grown.

5 THINGS I GAINED

The gains were not as readily apparent. Those that I wanted were not even guaranteed to happen. You have to first imagine all the possibilities that are opened and move to make those you value most happen. I did, and here are the five that have materialized.

More Time with Family and at Home

This was the main reason I migrated to North America at the age of 54. My daughters married American and Canadian citizens and moved to Seattle, Washington, and Calgary in Alberta, Canada. My house became an “empty nest.” My solution was to live with one and visit the other often.  

Some of the happiest times of my life were when I took care of my newest grandsons (after four sisters, three daughters, and two granddaughters, this was The Prize)! One was born in Calgary (I took care of him for three months) and another in Seattle (I ended up takng care of him for two years) seven months later. I showered them with the love and care I could not offer my daughters when I was too busy with my career.  

When I was not traveling, I loved prettifying our small Arizona home and tending a small garden, keeping both the flowering shrubs and fruit-bearing dwarfs alive and well. I have learned to cook in 13 cuisines from my travels. It was a far cry from the Philippines, where I left the household to cooks, nannies, and drivers.

A Travel and Life Partner

There was a second motivation for me to retire in the US. Since there is no divorce in the Philippines, my Boss, the Commissioner of the Bureau of Internal Revenue, intervened to get my annulment, a costly and long process. But even after the annulment was finally granted, there were no available partners. At my age, they were either confirmed bachelors or plain adulterers. The good ones were all taken. 

It was the best of luck when I married someone I fashionably met on the Net. Had I been in the Philippines, I would not have had the chance to meet him. One of his requirements was that the lady be no more than 25 miles from him so that substantial dating could happen. He had gone through a divorce and was living alone in Puyallup, Washington while I was with my daughter in Renton (a Seattle suburb), just 24 miles away. I barely qualified!

A New Way to Be Useful

While I was taking care of my grandson in Seattle, I volunteered for the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE). They assigned me to conduct Marketing Seminars for Small Businesses. Word got around and I was invited to teach at three institutions of higher learning. I thought that could be my new career; but after just one year of teaching, my groom took me away in an RV to explore North America.

That got me blogging about our travels which led me to write two travel books on Amazon: Carolina: Cruising to an American Dream and Cruising Past Seventy It's Not Only about Outer Journeys. It's Also about Inner Ones. Afterward, I landed a freelance contract as an expert/contributor at the online magazine Travel Awaits.  I found a new way to be useful as a travel writer and photographer!  Because I enjoyed it, it was not like working at all. And it was part time.

Extensive Travel

The kind of travel we had was much better than I ever had with my jobs in the Philippines. We RVed full-time for eight years. Now that we have a home in Phoenix, Arizona, we travel six months a year, still a lot for two septuagenarians. Together we have visited all 50 states, ten Canadian provinces, and seven Mexican states, plus 28 countries around the world. Extensive travel gave me all the fresh material I needed for my writing and photography.

A New Ministry

My hunger to mingle with fellow Filipinos led me to meet two other alumni of the University of the Philippines in Phoenix. Together we co-founded the UP Alumni Association in Arizona. We applied to be the first chapter of the UP Alumni Association in America, a nationwide organization. Both gave me the fire to help the disadvantaged in the Philippines through scholarships we award.

It's a full retirement life I found. It may not give me back the five things I lost but it has substantially given me five significant things in return. How do you think your list will stack up?   

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